How to get back your sexual confidence by Steph Ganowski

"How to get back your sexual confidence" is this week's topic, as promised. I have soo much to say on this topic but I will keep it brief and easily digestible so you guys can actually remember it and implement it asap, if needed. 

1. Understand your current state/feelings/situation 

- How would you rate your sexual confidence on a scale from 1-10? (1 being the lowest). Why did you rate it that number? What specific events or feelings put you at that number? What do you think needs to happen for you to just be one number higher? What conversation do you need to have? What decision do you need to make?

- Clarity is always about asking a lot of questions lol. So write the answers to these down in a journal or something.

2. Go deeper when it comes to learning about yourself/ your sexuality and sexual needs

- When was the last time you really (and I mean really) thought about what you want sexually and why that thing is so important to you? Do you even feel worthy of that thing? Or do you not and you're just feeling and acting on resentment for not having it? What are you actually doing to have what you feel you need in your sex life? What part of yourself is getting in the way?

3. Know what it takes to enjoy yourself sexually 

- When was the last time you pleasured yourself or complimented yourself and felt good about it, instead of feeling like it was a secondhand act, due to rejection? What can you do to enjoy yourself more or feel more attractive in your own body? If you don't desire you, it will be difficult to convince her to desire you. 

4. Check your body language and how you carry yourself

- How do you think someone would describe you as a person if they only watched your body language/movements throughout the day?

- Walk tall! Have someone in mind to model (can even be a friend of yours) to remind you of showing off your charisma and confidence. Go get a workout in and notice how you act a little more confident, after aligning your body for a lifting session. It's pretty nuts what focusing on body language alone can do for you.

5. Learn from past mistakes

- My clients often come to me with concerns of how they communicated (especially reactions) in their previous relationships. This concern around past mistakes makes them hesitant to feel confident moving forward. So I always help them learn. I do this by teaching them the skills they feel like they are missing and then bringing them back to the past even and asking them "Ok, so based on what you learned in the last couple with me, how would you approach all these past events now?" ...They always know the answer and do not even hesitate on it lol. It's the best. Because once you invest your time and energy into learning new skillsets, you can and you will learn from your past mistakes AND know what to do if the same situations arise once again (because hey, they 95% of the time will).

6. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner 

- Once you feel really good about yourself sexually (because you understand yourself, you've dug deeper to learn more, you desire yourself, you can enjoy yourself, learn from mistakes and present yourself physically with confidence), now it's time to use this great, confident and attractive energy to communicate potentially 'difficult' or 'awkward' conversations with your partner. But guess what? The more you trust yourself and love yourself, the easier it is to put these conversations out there. Because you know that even if you're judged or shut down, you still have your own back. Everything will be ok with you, as long as YOU'RE ok with you. And the more you're ok with you, the less defensive, hostile, avoidant and the more engaging, light-hearted and loving you will be in communication with your partner. 

Ok so I lied. This was long as fuck lol.

But I encourage you to write down these 6 titles somewhere to remember them or look back on them. It might even benefit you to use these email questions as a journal for today. It could help ;) 

That's all for now guys! I'm going to run to the gym and then hop on a training for Sexology school. 🤓

Talk to you again next week, 

Steph