Doing what I do, I obviously take extra notice of men in public (or online) who have game, impress me, do something out of the ordinary, etc.
Most the time, I want to feed them some advice. Not necessarily because they're doing it 'wrong', but let's be honest... the approach is difficult. It's not always easy or fun. It's a bitch.
And SO many guys can improve with the approach, if they:
1) Felt great about themselves
2) Knew what women want to see and hear.
So I wanted to tell you guys a personal story of a man who approached me today at the gym (and I thought he did an excellent job in doing so).
**I posted this in my Instagram stories but figured I would dive deeper on it here. If you want the animated version, head over to @stephganowski** (link below in the footnotes)
*Background info: This guy has showed his interest in me my glancing my way about 2 or 3 times (on various days) prior to this approach. Each time I smiled back at him. The last time I worded "Hey" silently with my lips lol...
(I am that super focused chick in the gym. Totally unapproachable/serious, earphones ALWAYS in, constant intense movement during workout or eyes glued to a book on the treadmill. I actually wonder now how long this guy would stare at me until I actually looked up to see him looking LOL.)
So the importance of this background story is to show that this guy took initiative to grab my attention SOMEHOW. And it worked. He got it. And a smile. More than once.
He is now 'safe' to approach me- I smiled at him before, most likely I'll do it again, right?
I'm walking on the treadmill (earphones in, eyes glued to a book haha) and he walks directly over to me, like a man on a mission. I was forced to look up because he was literally right there and asked me a question, making solid eye contact and seemed very much at ease with a kind face.
I took one earphone out (giving the hint like dude, I'm working out/reading. What is it?) and asked "What's that?" (with a smile)
Him: What's your name?
Him: I see you here all the time. You're always doing crazy stretches, which seem impossible for me to do haha. Are you a dancer?
Me: Yeah I am actually! Flexibility is important to me, especially keeping up with it while strength training.
Him: Yeah you do seem really strong! Steph, right? I'm Matt (holds out hand for shake). Really nice to meet you
Me: Hey Matt, nice to meet you too :)
Him: Don't be a stranger. Feel free to say 'Hi' if we bump into each other again
Me: Sounds good, Matt!
Him: (walking away) Have a great day, Steph
Me: Thinking *I'm going to tell my email list/social media about you, you skilled sonofabitch*
Haha, in all seriousness, Matt's approach was great. And here's why:
He started the approach by making eye contact with me weeks ahead of time. I was already familiar with his face so him walking up to me didn't freak me out/throw me off
He asked my name immediately (a little ballsy but he owned it with his confident body language and kind expression)
He pointed out my 'crazy stretches' (which are a little eye-catching sometimes, so I didn't find him saying that creepy at all- 'scorpion pose' is a regular practice for me lol).
This showed that he was paying attention to me and impressed by me which equals a compliment (women love compliments)
He re-stated my name (realizing I never asked for his) so that way, I had another chance to ask his
He smiled the entire time and kept a good distance, with me being on a treadmill
I felt safe, comfortable and happy being in his presence (he had a great energy and I FELT his confidence through his open body and face)
He kept it short, sweet, to the point (either he was respecting the fact I still had one earphone in, was on a treadmill with a book, or he had to go to work- probably both lol)
It was so easygoing and simple. I really enjoyed it.
I hope this gives you guys some takeaways!
Talk soon :)